THE NUMBERS DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR JERSEY.
ALL THAT TALK.
SHOW THE STATS.
Is your favorite player actually playing like ass?
Position-specific stats. Zero fanbase bias. All the receipts.
THE ASS INDEX™
0100
COOKINGCOOKED
A position-relative rating. Higher means worse.
Early-season results. Save the career eulogies.
THE LEAGUE, UNDER REVIEW
The ass leaderboard.
DATA SNAPSHOTOCT 2, 2026
748 starters
| # | PLAYER | POS. | THE VERDICT | THE SAMPLE | Details | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01 | EDGE | CERTIFIED ASS | 70 defensive snapsEarly season | |||
| 02 | S | CERTIFIED ASS | 194 defensive snaps · 5 targetsEarly season | |||
| 03 | EDGE | CERTIFIED ASS | 76 defensive snapsEarly season | |||
| 04 | WR | CERTIFIED ASS | 17 targetsEarly season | |||
| 05 | EDGE | CERTIFIED ASS | 134 defensive snapsEarly season | |||
| 06 | FB | CERTIFIED ASS | 70 offensive snapsEarly season | |||
| 07 | WR | CERTIFIED ASS | 12 targetsEarly season | |||
| 08 | WR | CERTIFIED ASS | 10 targetsEarly season | |||
| 09 | CB | CERTIFIED ASS | 139 defensive snaps · 17 targetsEarly season | |||
| 10 | LB | CERTIFIED ASS | 65 defensive snapsEarly season | |||
| 11 | CB | CERTIFIED ASS | 144 defensive snaps · 5 targetsEarly season | |||
| 12 | CB | CERTIFIED ASS | 193 defensive snaps · 12 targetsEarly season | |||
| 13 | QB | CERTIFIED ASS | 54 dropbacksEarly season | |||
| 14 | CB | CERTIFIED ASS | 167 defensive snaps · 17 targetsEarly season | |||
| 15 | TE | CERTIFIED ASS | 9 targetsEarly season |
Showing 1–15 of 748
Stats: 2026 regular season, Weeks 1–3. Starters: Oct 2 depth-chart release, including three WRs and listed nickel backs. Coverage and front-seven ratings use public charting; OL and FB ratings combine team blocking outcomes with individual snaps and penalties.